Express your love to your spouse in a way they will FEEL it and KNOW it.

Express your love to them when they are not distracted by other things.

Express your love to them when it’s the only thing they are hearing.

When our spouse says, “I love you,” our immediate reaction is to say, “I love you too.”  But when we do that, we have in essence just hit the ball back without enjoying it. We have ‘discounted’ what they said in trying to send the words back as quickly as possible.  It’s like a ping-pong game of “I love you.” We see how fast we can hit it back without letting the ball drop.  We do not let the words sink in and RECEIVE them. So the next time your spouse says, “I love you,” let the ball drop and just say, “Thank-you.”

What difference would it make if you weren’t in such a hurry to PING-PONG the words back to them, but instead, let them DROP into your heart?

Start ‘letting the ball drop’ today

Sometimes it’s fun (and necessary) to do things TOGETHER (see Day 13), and sometimes it’s fun (and necessary) to do things ALONE.

Probably my biggest fear with being married was that I would lose my “identity” to the marriage, meaning I would have to give up those things that I enjoy doing alone, or with my friends, all for the sake of the marriage.

I’ve seen many couples become so enmeshed in their MARRIAGE that they have lost their individual identity of who THEY are.

They don’t know what THEY like anymore, or what THEY would want to do, or where THEY would go on vacation, or what THEY would buy for THEM self.  They have become a self-sacrificer/pleaser to the MARRIAGE, and that is not healthy.

Marriages are strongest when you keep yourself, your spouse and your marriage as 3 separate ‘beings.’

1 – Make time for you (MY time).

2 – Allow your spouse to make time for him/her (YOUR time).

3 – Make time for the marriage (OUR time).

All 3 “beings” need their own, separate, individual time.

Last night my hubby spent HIS time riding his dirt bike with his friend.  I spent MY time getting my nails done.  And then afterwards we came together and spent OUR time in the MARRIAGE.

It was AWESOME because we had each been filled up with our PERSONAL identity time, and then we brought that energy to our MARRIAGE time.

If you have children, it becomes a little more challenging to segregate the 3 different times, but it is MUCH more important because you are teaching them by example how to keep their own personal identity and how to create a strong marriage in the future.

So what are some things YOU want to do? Do them.

What are some things your SPOUSE wants to do? Allow him/her to do them.

What are some things your BOTH want to do together? Do them.

Don’t allow the marriage to suffocate who YOU are.

Husbands, face the fact: your wife will ALWAYS pack more stuff than you do when going on a trip. It’s just the Rule of Packing.

And no, she is not going to wear EVERYTHING she packs.

And yes, she will bring more shoes than days you will be gone.

And yes, there will be a completely separate bag for cosmetics.

Just accept that fact with a genuine smile on your face when you kindly ask, “So, have you got everything, honey?”

And then offer to help her carry them all to the car knowing that if she brings everything she wants without any comments from you, the trip is already off to a GREAT start!!

My husband and I are going on a little trip for the weekend and I already know our bag ratio—his are blue and mine are…well, the other color…

And I know he’s not going to mention one word about it.

So husbands, what do you say?

Hint: nothing

PUT IT ON and surprise your husband.

So the other night my husband calls me on his way home from going swimming with his kids and says he had a great time BUT couldn’t help but look around and see all the husbands and their wives in swimming suits and he wished he could have been with his wife in HER swimming suit…

So my brain started swimming with how I could ‘fix that’ for him because I love him, and I decided to just go and PUT IT ON so he’d see me in it when he got home…

Boy did I surprise him when he walked in the door!!!  It was so cute to see the look on his face…and to know that I helped put it there!!

Wives—just PUT IT ON and give your hubby a little eye candy—THEY LOVE IT!! [and ignore all the little voices in your head…they do NOT want you to have a strong marriage. They are not your friends.]

So go right now and PUT IT ON!! Feed your husband a little eye candy tonight

Wives, Just SHUT UP and let your husband drive.

So Saturday my husband and I were driving around town going to different places and I found myself being extremely ‘controlling’ in telling my husband HOW to get there…pointing out the turns I take, the roads I drive, and the way I get there. In fact I finally realized how retarded I was being and told him I was going to just SHUT UP and let him drive (he just laughed, probably imagining this picture!).

You see, my husband knew how to get to the places we were going—but he didn’t get to them the EXACT SAME WAY I did…and I was finding that very ‘annoying.’

Well, I’m sure he was finding it ‘annoying’ that I kept telling him how to get to a place he already knew how to get to, and I’m sure he wanted our car to have this kind of seat belt…

Here’s the lesson I learned: just because my husband was driving a different route than I would have taken, does not make it WRONG, or BAD, or STUPID. In fact, I saw some things I’ve never seen before when I finally SHUT UP and let him drive HIS WAY.

PLUS, I was much more relaxed and actually enjoyed the ride!

How many times do we try to CONTROL someone (namely our spouse) by making them do it OUR way that we MISS something NEW and get all stressed out about it in the process?

What different would it make if we just ALLOW them to do it their way…

So as a wife, I have promised to just SHUT UP when my husband drives…unless he asks me for directions

How about YOU?

Bookend your day (at a minimum!) by expressing these 3 words OUT LOUD to your spouse.  First thing when you wake up for the day, say these 3 words out loud to your spouse.  Then as you lay down at the end of your day, say these 3 words out loud to your spouse. Start your day and end your day with these 3 words.

But don’t just say them.

Mean them.

Start bookending YOUR day and see what happens…

It’s easy to TELL your spouse you love him/her but how often do you SHOW it?

An easy way to SHOW your love for your spouse is to look for cute gifts (that are budget friendly) you can spontaneously give your spouse to show them how you feel about your relationship.

For instance, one day when I came home from work, my husband had warmed a Marie Callendar’s apple crisp pie (my favorite!!) and put THIS bride and groom on the top…

We both had a great laugh and it brought back fun memories of our wedding day!

What is one way you can SHOW your spouse YOUR love?